The why of concern – Half 1:  A chilly day’s run . . .

For varied causes, over the previous few months I’ve spent a number of time and power specializing in the idea of concern.  It might have began with all of the hype over Alex Honnold’s stay free solo climb of Taipei 101, but it surely turned a deeper focus after some current runs I did within the bitter chilly this winter.  I’ll share extra on that in a bit.  However first, whatever the set off, concern has turn out to be considerably of an obsession of mine currently.  A lot so, that once I first considered writing extra on it, I felt like I wanted time to kind out my ideas.  In any case, I already wrote the easy model of my overcoming fears put up in, “Do one factor day by day that scares you.”  Whereas that weblog was about my experiences overcoming fears and the necessity to get out of my consolation zone, what I imagine is lacking – and what has been starkly on my thoughts currently – is the why. Why it’s so necessary to me to beat concern?  That is half one of many reply, and it begins with the story of my runs.

A concern of operating in excessive chilly . . .

This winter has been brutally chilly – actually compared to something I bear in mind over my 18+ years in New York Metropolis.  Add to that the truth that I’ve solely been operating in the course of the colder months previous couple of years, and that is one thing I’ve not skilled. 

I’ve all the time had my limits on the temperature.  By no means under 20 levels.  I’ve run within the mid-20’s whereas freezing my ass off, and that gave the impression to be nearly all I may deal with.  I couldn’t probably run in something a lot colder.  Particularly when the opposite runners I do know have been telling me they keep inside.  I ought to point out I hate treadmills.  I’m not afraid of them.  Simply extremely bored.

When the primary chilly spell got here just a few weeks in the past, and it was 13 levels with a single-digit windchill on the day of my future, I used that day as one to remind me that I don’t must do each run.  I noticed just a few others exterior operating that day and realized individuals do that.  I puzzled if I ought to give it a shot, but it surely was necessary for me to show that I can take a day without work.  In addition to, it’s solely ever that chilly in New York for just a few days a yr, at most.  As the intense chilly continued all through the week, I discovered consolation in skipping my runs.

The forecast was no higher the next Sunday for my subsequent future day, and this one was scheduled to be a race day.  The forecast for the Manhattan 10K was for a windy 12 levels with a windchill under zero.  The week main as much as the race was aggravating.  I actually needed the credit score for this one, because it helps me get into some key races subsequent yr.  However I used to be dreading the situations.  I spent the week making an attempt to get my head in the correct house to do it.  I may all the time flip round and head again house if it felt too chilly, and I may give up if it was too painful.  A taxi is simply a block away.  Okay, I used to be prepared.  Then got here the information on Friday afternoon that the race was cancelled – and I may robotically get the race credit.  “F*&okay yeah!”

After which it hit me.  I received so comfy skipping any extraordinarily chilly runs that I turned much more afraid of them.  Certain, most runners skip today, however I see others on the market.  It’s not insane to run on the market, but it surely’s scary.  Nonetheless, I had spent the week making ready myself mentally for the problem.  The race could have been cancelled, however there was no means I may move up this second of dealing with my concern.

As I headed to the park on Sunday morning, even only a bit sooner than I’d have gone to the race, it was 11 levels and the windchill was -7.  I used to be well-layered and well-covered, even with a balaclava to cowl my face.  I requested myself on the best way there if I ought to flip round, however I used to be okay for now.  I did my stretches on the best way and flippantly jogged to remain hotter, all whereas fastidiously maintaining my eyes on the bottom in entrance of me for ice.  I wasn’t simply afraid of the chilly — I actually feared falling once more too (see my prior blogs if you happen to don’t know). 

After I arrived on the park, I used to be prepared to provide it a shot, understanding {that a} taxi was solely a block away.  That although stayed with me for the primary minute or two once I then started to think about being in the midst of the mountains with no taxi to rescue me.  Simply me and the chilly, and I needed to preserve shifting.  I discovered a lot peace in that picture that it stayed with me as I accomplished the remainder of the five-mile run – even after my water bottle froze mid-way by means of it.  As I completed the lap, I considered going longer, however (1) the water factor, and (2) my fingers had been beginning to freeze.  It was time to cease and name it a win.

The run wasn’t about how far or how briskly I ran.  It was about discovering out if what I used to be afraid of was price being afraid of.  You see, for me, concern nonetheless has its place.  The concern of falling made me cautious.  The concern of freezing helped me costume correctly and devise an escape plan.  And the concern of declining in my health is a part of what received me on the market within the first place.  However what largely received me on the market, and what received me by means of the run, was the concern of doing it.  After I completed, I used to be stripped of that concern in time for a lot of extra equally chilly days forward!

Now the why . . .

As I mentioned to start with, this collection isn’t just about my journey overcoming fears, it’s in regards to the why.  Why was it necessary to be stripped of that concern?  The reply – I imply solutions – to which might be why this have to be written over a number of posts.  There are numerous causes; every price analyzing additional.  Every time I deal with a concern price overcoming, it primes me to tackle the following one.  It helps me higher perceive which fears are price dealing with and which of them won’t be.  It supplies me with readability as to the distinction between concern and anxiousness and how you can greatest use the previous and management the latter.  It makes the uncomfortable comfy, it makes the winter much less miserable, and it makes me higher at issues – in work, life, and health.  It prepares me for the day I don’t get to decide on whether or not to face a concern or not.  I did this one voluntarily, however all of us face moments in our lives that drive us to confront what we want we didn’t must.  We practice for these moments by studying the abilities of overcoming.  However most of all, for this run, it was necessary to take away that concern as a result of life is healthier with out it.

Aaron

Extra to come back in Half 2 of this collection . . .