The complexity of Thanksgiving

As I sat down to put in writing a weblog for this Thanksgiving, I discovered myself feeling responsible.  I thought-about a message that shared my gratitude for all that I’m grateful for this 12 months from the superb adventures I had in Antarctica and Moab to the expertise of coaching for the NY Marathon.  However as I wrote the phrases about how a lot I like my life, it started to really feel awkward.  My thoughts shifted to those that may learn this and are unable to seek out gratitude of their lives.  I virtually felt ashamed of my happiness at a time when so many are struggling.

First, let me be clear, there’s nothing political about this.  Folks endure day by day it doesn’t matter what goes on within the outdoors world.  The truth that a lot of it’s in our face like by no means earlier than is partly a operate of our interplay with social media and the media at giant.  The world has seen hate, violence, starvation, illness, and unhappiness for so long as mankind has walked this planet.  And even when what we could select to eat on-line is stuffed with pleasure and happiness, there are those that are struggling not simply this vacation however each vacation.

What this submit is about is the enormously robust activity of discovering gratitude not simply in what makes us smile, however in what hurts.

In final 12 months’s Thanksgiving submit, I wrote about the advantages of gratitude which can be backed by science.  In the end, my concluding lesson was the next:

It seems gratitude is like an invisible muscle.  The extra we work it, the stronger we get.  And the stronger we get, the more healthy we’re.

As I look again on this lesson, it makes me really feel much less responsible for all that I’m grateful for this 12 months.  Not due to what’s on that checklist however as a result of I recognize the hassle of discovering gratitude in every part – the great and the unhealthy.  In my life, I sit right here as grateful for the agony of tearing my hamstring 5 days earlier than the marathon as I’m for the euphoria I skilled when leaping off a cliff.  I’m grateful for the teachings every second taught me.  The rope swing not solely taught me about having fun with life, however it was one other second the place I overcame a concern of the unknown.  The harm taught me to understand the truth that success isn’t automated – even if you really feel as should you earned it.  I’m grateful that I attempted one thing arduous, and I’m really grateful for the truth that I can strive it once more subsequent 12 months.

So, this Thanksgiving, I depart you with the strategy that I’m utilizing to work out my gratitude muscle mass this 12 months . . .

First, I take into account the moments the place I instinctively really feel grateful as a result of they brough me pleasure and happiness.  I rejoice in them and bask within the happiness for which I’m grateful.  Usually, these are the experiences we seize on movie and may cherish perpetually . . .

Then I take into account the moments the place I struggled, and I attempt to discover the silver lining.  Not each painful second feels prefer it has one, and that’s okay.  But when there’s something to cling to that provides hope for a greater final result, I work on that muscle.  As a result of discovering gratitude the place it’s hardest is the place we get stronger.  These moments will not be normally captured in a photograph.  Reasonably, they relaxation in our psyche.  The bodily or emotional ache is invisible, however it’s extra profound than any happiness we discover in our photographs of the great instances.

For me, probably the most heartbreaking second this 12 months was once I couldn’t discover a snug place during which to relaxation shortly after my harm occurred.  That was when it hit me as I first stated the phrases, “I can not run the marathon this 12 months.”  I nonetheless get tearful once I assume again to that second.  However I’m additionally grateful for it.  I’m grateful to have gotten so shut that I had to cry over it.  I’m grateful that it makes me recognize how arduous that is, not solely when one doesn’t have the physique for it as was my case up to now, however even when one has all of the instruments to do it, but it simply isn’t automated.  I’m grateful to be therapeutic and am grateful that I’ll quickly be working once more. I’m grateful for all of the help I had this 12 months as I educated and for the help that I’ll have at subsequent 12 months’s race.  And I’m most grateful for the truth that I can take this wrestle and discover such deep that means in it that I’ll flip it into one thing which will higher me sooner or later.

Little doubt, I’m fortunate that this was my most painful second this 12 months each bodily and emotionally.  Discovering gratitude within the arduous stuff isn’t straightforward – even when the painful second is nowhere close to as heavy as what may very well be.  It’s okay not to have the ability to discover one thing to be grateful for amid our sorrow.  It’s even okay to not wish to.  However maybe we will all at the very least hope for one thing during which we are going to quickly discover gratitude.

Completely satisfied Thanksgiving!

Aaron