Blumhouse Cheetos Are the Weirdest Meals I Have Ever Eaten

Pumpkin spice is so 2003.

As of late, a pleasantly rustic limited-time taste for fall is just not sufficient. With all issues Halloween consuming an increasing number of of the season, firms have begun filling retailer cabinets with “scary” variations of beloved treats and snacks. Simply the opposite day, somebody on Bluesky despatched me an image of “Spooky” Hidden Valley Ranch, which is a grungy black shade. (Hopefully it tastes like regular ranch and never what it appears to be like like, which is an enormous pile of liquid dust.)

This 12 months’s assortment of Halloween flavors consists of an uncommon film tie-in: “Candy Phantom Warmth” Cheetos, made at the side of the great individuals of Blumhouse Productions. Based in 2000 by producer Jason Blum, the studio has turn into identified for most of the greatest horror franchises of the twenty first century, together with The Black Cellphone, M3GAN, the Halloween legacyquels, and The Purge.

Blumhouse has partnered with different manufacturers earlier than; final Halloween, I drank Blumhouse-inspired Fanta sodas. (Unrelated query: Is it regular to get up in the midst of the evening screaming “DON’T YOU WANNA FANTA?” I’m simply curious; not asking for any particular motive.) Nonetheless, these Candy Phantom Warmth Cheetos — which boast that they comprise “The Taste of Worry” — aren’t impressed by any of these particular franchises. They’re tied on to Blumhouse itself.

So what does reasonably priced horror filmmaking style like? As a cinephile (and a glutton for punishment) I used to be intruiged. I purchased a bag and filmed my preliminary response.

It, uh, it didn’t go nice.

The Style Take a look at

READ MORE: The Weirdest Film and TV Impressed Meals of 2025

The Closing Verdict

I’ve been consuming meals impressed by motion pictures and tv reveals (professionally) for over ten years now. I sampled “Oliver’s Dip” I guzzled Rizzler Berry soda. I consumed three completely different flavors of stuffed French toast impressed by Indiana Jones in a single sitting, and licked Grinch salt off my fingers. I’ve eaten some actually bizarre stuff within the identify of content material. It takes rather a lot to freak me (and my colon) out.

However I’ve by no means, in all that point, eaten something that approaches the brain-melting madness of those Cheetos. Spicy cinnamon raisin? An preliminary hit of sweetness adopted by a blazing burn of intense spice? Who thought this was a good suggestion? Blumhouse needs it might make a film as scary as this mixture.

These Cheetos might solely be concocted by a mad scientist making an attempt to create the least interesting foodstuff in human historical past. Or perhaps they may emerge as an unexpected byproduct of a Faustian cope with the satan himself. Does anybody know if a warlock forged a magic spell that tried to soak up all of mankind’s sins after which place them within a cheese puff with the intention to rid the world of evil in all its types? These are the one affordable rationalization for Candy Phantom Warmth’s existence.

These Cheetos ought to solely be eaten on a dare, or underneath the direct supervision of a licensed medical skilled. I’m severe. I’m not ruling out the chance that the viral outbreak in Zach Cregger’s Resident Evil was brought on by Candy Phantom Warmth Cheetos escaping from a lab in Raccoon Metropolis. I really feel like tentacules could burst out of my mouth at any second.

So I suppose what I’m saying is … these are a 100-percent trustworthy tie-in meals to one of many greatest manufacturers in horror cinema. However man, I actually want they weren’t.